Finally! I blog again! (My Job)

I cannot believe how long it has been since I posted a blog! So much for my attempts at using it as a journal! lol Oh well. The joy of life is that we can always pick up where we are and go again. So, I downloaded some new pictures onto my computer and will blog a few entries about the milestones that have gone on in our family the past few weeks...ok, couple of months. Sheesh! I always have to be so darn REAL about it. =)

So, what has kept me so distracted that I didn't take a minute to send out into cyber space an update of my life? Mostly, it has been my job. What a strange place I find myself in at this point in life. I never thought that I would be the one with the professional career and Tom would be working behind the scenes picking up what I can't get to. Yet, that is pretty much what our lives have come to right now.

And, I find myself having strange moments of awareness that our roles have completely switched. For instance, I rarely think about what is for dinner anymore. Tom will suddenly ask, "What would you like for dinner honey?" Thursdays are the only days I pick kids up from school anymore. It seems so weird to pull into the carpool lane and have the new aide not know which kid I am there for! We've only been at this school for 11 years now! You guessed it, Tom is the chauffer for most things right now. Another strange moment was when the other day, he was counseling me to take a break. "Go read a book honey." What??? Usually, you can't tear me away from a good book and the occasion of mom reading means ramen for dinner for a night or two.

I've also noticed that when I am with others, I don't know what to talk about anymore. The major part of my life has been work and work related stuff. How interested can someone else really be in how many people registered for our latest workshop, or whether or not our website is up to date? So, I find myself doubting every casual conversation I have wondering if I am boring people to death or if I am really listening to what THEY have to say.

I always thought I would be a SAHG...stay at home gramma. That is what I always thought I wanted to be. And I do....to some degree. I discovered that I do find a great deal of satisfaction in completing a job well done at the end of the day. I also enjoy the knowledge that I have gained as I learn some very useful information about the business world. What I know is that I want to create that part of my life in such a way that there are plenty of SAHM, and SAHG moments. Because as fulfilling as my work is, and gratifying as it is to be a life coach and watch lives change before my eyes, the lives that truly matter to me are those of my family. I want to be a meaningful part of their lives and know that each moment I had with them was precious and full of love...and I want there to be plenty of those moments to look back on and remember!

I have learned much as I step into the professional world. The biggest thing I have learned is that nothing will ever match the joy I get from spending time with my family, and lovin' on my grandbabies, and reading to my son, and chatting with my girls, and snuggling with my sweetheart. So, thank goodness I have them in my life to tug at me and say...time to put the computer away mom! I want to eat! =)

Try a Free Trial!

The other day, I was having a conversation with my youngest son. It was one of those “teaching” moments that every parent is keeping an eye out for and yet, I ended up feeling like I was the one being taught. Isn’t it like that sometimes? All wise and knowing, we settle in to share the wisdom of our years, and then a child with such perfect childlike faith, teaches us with more clarity than we could ever see with our years of wisdom.

So, we were talking, and I was explaining the different ways that Heavenly Father could choose to answer our prayers. I wanted to be sure he understood as we had fasted as a family last Sunday for a specific need and then the very next day, things didn’t quite turn out how we had hoped. I worried that this test of faith would be challenging for a young mind to comprehend. So, we talked about how sometimes we get the answer just the way we hoped for and sometimes the answers to our prayers come in a different way than we had thought of, yet still with the same or better result. And then, we talked about the times when Heavenly Father answers our prayers, yet it feels like the worst thing ever happened instead. I was explaining how sometimes Heavenly Father allows us to go through trials because we need to learn something from them and that sometimes it is the only way He can answer our prayers for our best interests. I was preparing to defend this position to my son, when out he pops with, “Hey! It’s like a FREE TRIAL! You know, like when you want to try a new game online and they let you try it for free first before you spend your money and buy the real thing?” It was so spontaneous a response that I burst out laughing! Of course, I told him he was exactly right!

I spent some time pondering on the concept of a free trial. What an amazing way to look at life! So many times we experience trials and afflictions, and rather than look at the blessings, we are more prone to first complain and notice all the ways that life is unfair. What better way to see it than to realize that life is full of “free trials”, opportunities for us to grow, learn, prepare, and experience, so that we can gain whatever skills, knowledge, character, and integrity we need to gain the “real blessings” of life. It’s like we get a lifetime of free trials and the only cost to get the real blessings is to learn and grow from the trials.

My dad told me once that there was this plane of living where you actually can look forward to the challenge of the trials. He said that it is actually possible to get to that place, yet challenging to always stay there. He said that there is an excitement in wondering just what great thing Heavenly Father is going to do with your life now! I have to admit, at the time I was perplexed yet quite curious. There was a part of me that longed to get to that place. I have experienced glimpses of it in my life. It is an amazing thing to experience giving everything completely over to Heavenly Father’s capable hands. I am such a control freak that letting go and surrendering the “controls” of my life to my Father in Heaven is a very scary thing. Yet, in my `wisdom’ of years, I am coming to understand that true joy and happiness only comes when I give it over to Him and trust in His divine direction and guidance.

That brings me back to my son. I think about how he trusts me and his dad and surrenders much control of his life to our direction and guidance. He is one of the happiest people I know! He loves everyone and extends an open hand of friendship to anyone who wants to play and be happy with him. He rarely complains when I tell him no, and he rarely questions my decisions. And, his carefree attitude when faced with a challenge as evidenced with this latest family trial, exhibits an optimism that will serve him well in life. So, as I sit and chat with him intending to impart my wisdom, I find myself gaining a new clarity on the Savior’s admonition to `become as a little child’. So, with childlike faith, I will trust in Heavenly Father to guide our little family and help us find the next adventure in this great life of “free trials!”